An idea was sparked as Amelia, Geoff and I watched the continuous choreographed violence at the film "The Protector" yesterday. That is one funny movie. I don't think it was meant to be, but the constant violence blended with the constant sound of bones breaking and the "hero" (the guy from Ong Bak) yelling "You took my elephants!" was enough to make Amelia and I crack up through the entire film.

Amelia and I are going to learn martial arts and make some extra cash on the weekends by holding fight matches in lingerie. Who knows, this brilliant idea may become our full time job. Athough, I can't speak for Amelia, but I think one fight per week is more than enough for me...I mean, I'm too pretty to bruise!! I know many men that would pay large sums of money to watch two hot chicks round house kick and jab around wearing nothing but a flimsy nightie. Of course, to make it more interesting, Amelia and I would have to learn different martial arts so that we aren't using the same moves. (I vote Amelia learns "Monkey Fighting" and I'll go with "Bonesnapper")

I mean, come on!! This would be a brilliant scheme to part stupid men from their money! (Marrying them works too I suppose, but this is more fun!) We could hold auditions for more hot chicks so that Amelia and I could take a few nights off from beating the snot out of each other, and eventually, move up to just holding and managing the tournaments, and not actually competing. Realistically, I think that I would enjoy watching much more than fighting...

If we were to go ahead with this plan, there would have to be some fight rules:

1) No biting (unless you are a monkey fighter, in which case you kind of have to)
2) No scratching (all fingernails will be cut to reduce "accidental" marring facial cuts)
3) Cussing is welcomed and encouraged, however, keep family out of it.
4) No hitting while opponent is down or not facing you, will result in immediate disqualification and suspension from a pre-determined number of events.
5) Only pre-approved attire is allowed. These will include, but are not limited to: matching bra and pantie sets, corset sets, school girl or nurses outfits, bra and chaps, and the occasional full nudity.
6) No stilettos. We want repeat fighters with all limbs unpunctured. Barefeet or ballerina slippers only (slippers are encouraged as they look really cool and sexy)
7) You will be required to fight in the occasional exhibition Jell-O or mud match
8) Hair is allowed to be used as a weapon
9) No studs, spikes, brass knuckles, or any other type of hitting enhancement
10) Other regulations will be introduced as the tournaments continue to provide safety and legal coverage for all involved.

I think we'll call it "Ladies' AK'ing Tournaments"

What do you think of our idea? Any thoughts, want to audition? Post me!!!